A new feeling arises, a completely welcome feeling that expresses a deep realization. I feel I am finally arriving home. This mystery, this majesty, is my home, my original place. It is what my heart longs for and loves more than anything else. I realize I have always loved this mystery, and always longed to melt into it, even though I did not know consciously what I loved and longed for. I knew I loved the truth, but I was not aware that the truth is ultimately this inexplicable reality. I see that I have always felt exiled, that I have always been seeking to return home.
From the very beginning, I had been hearing only one message from every Holy Place and every Holy Scripture:
Our longing desires alone are the cause of our troubles.
For me this message was only a jumble of words which I could hear but had no awareness of its profundity in my life. However, today I not only understand its significance but also feel it. What is its purest form and shape?
The fulfilment of a minor longing swallows up a long stretch of life, but still we cannot have the satisfaction of having achieved completion.
The cycle of these desires consumes our whole life. Still we fail to have a sigh of relief, a pause in the mental wanderings, and the stay of the intellect because:
Whenever I descended into the depth of my being, I found how dreadful storms arise from the narrow egotism, marking the circles of desires at a distance of many lives from our individuality, and how we, bearing the arduous wanderings in wildernesses, collect the rigorous experiences of woes and troubles only.
When I realized the existence of our desires and passions, then along with my foolishness, madness, and darkness of ignorance, I understood the cause of my incapacity and inability. Then I found my repentant being struggling and convulsing to come out of the dark-coloured design of moments, but the consciousness of my helplessness and despair tormented my life and suffocated my breaths. Then, the tear of my eye, along with the sharp stream of quietude in darkness, striking at the throat of egotism, dedicated itself to the Unknown.
But today, I receive the horoscope of desires which gives details of its birth and death and begins to guide my existence. A drop of unique, matchless experience gives me riddance from the heat of the hot desert of desires.
My one step proceeds towards the path, but the being cries halt.
These paths of awareness, covered with rising steps, the movement of tranquility and satiety staying on in my being and in its current beautiful narration, my incoming and out-going breaths, have a smooth and musical flow.
Just as no breaths are possible without the body and the consciousness, in the same way, no step can proceed without any direction; and this direction depends on our longings.
Longing = the cause of trouble.
Longing = the indication of direction.
Longing = the beginning of life.
Longing = the watchman of its own individuality.
We wish to get rid of it, but as a first step in the journey of life it is the basic source. Surrounded by the unique experience of these longing desires, I was watching all the mountains spreading in all directions—the mountains gigantic in stature but pigmies in character, these aspects are matchless and rich in beauty. In the same way every part of life is having within its fold infinite aspects of life and it was expressed and exemplified by the experience of today. For a long time life had been giving me the consciousness of this uniformity of appearance. If I were to see through the window of desires, all life would become one and would give me a proof of commonality and make my life cool.
This expanded life, whether it takes the shape of the whole world, confines itself to small words, or catches in the meshes of individuality, takes the shape of its own self—all means one and the same:
The consciousness of all feelings and sensations
The experience of every emotion
The experience of every direction
The depth of each word
The commonness of all life
The shapeliness of every commonality
All is one and the same
Longing: If it brings forth in life woe and trouble in the shape of heat—the same longing brings forth flowers and fruit on the thorny branches of life.
Longing: If it spreads in the shape of ego, it makes life limited and singes it. The same longing, if confined to the positive sense, makes existence boundless and enables it to take the loftiest flight.
Longing: If it sets on the journey of life, takes its birth from the womb of lust, rage, attachment, greed, and hauteur, setting off fear, worry, suffocation, and helplessness; then longing itself turns us in our own direction, it opens the path to peace, comfort, and happiness teaching life how to fly in the firmament of freedom.
Longing: If it is the symbol of life, the definition of fire—it both singes life and makes the gift of life.
Longing: If it becomes a cinder in the worldly attire and scorches life, longing then turns to the ‘self’, becomes a cool fire and adorns and purifies life; then becoming the message of warmth in life, it also undertakes a tour.
Longing: If it awakes at the sight of imperfection, discontent, and unrest when my disappointed life longs for self-welfare, then I feel within the lack of knowledge, love, and peace.
In no time did this longing put on the garb of feelings and emotions.
Feelings gave birth to curiosity,
Curiosity wiped out all woe and trouble and taught
To fly high in the open sky.
Longing: If it makes us conscious of feverish heat, in the shape of fire, destroys life; the same longing transforming itself into feelings and emotions and after warning my life, begins to take a sip from the cup of life, grand, and Universal.