While travelling through the depth of life, this existence today finds itself blossoming. I see today the reality of this universe which stands far beyond my words to describe. The moments spent on its reflection look like a heavy weight on this existence. Is there no other means for the expression of this consciousness except the length and depth of the breaths booming through silence? In the murmur of the fast blowing gale, the awareness of this profound silence is an echo that swallows my thoughts. It:
Wants to indulge in a giggle, but is voiceless.
Wants to rain, but has no raindrop.
Which is the understanding of life, which bedecks life in the garb of ignorance.
The silence of death which lays life on the bed of relaxation.
Whatever I am—what I am despite not being— despite not being, I am—Perhaps I am infinite.
What name may I give it?
Shall I be able to recognise this existence while passing through these moments?
Shall I be able to recognise my existence which is passing through my moments today?
My wish has had the element of negation concealed in it. My thirst contains satiety. My pause hides motion. Some part of life is hovering within me to familiarize me with some profound experience; and its echo forms this symphony that I—what should I call it?
For I realize nothing is left to do or to become, then should I call it as to what it is?
Existence is stagnant life that is interrupted. What name should I assign for this speed in action in this halted existence, to the life emerging from this interrupted life?
It was half past four in the morning when I dreamt that I was endeavouring to climb a thin but very lofty wall. I was, at the same time, very careful to maintain my balance. I was in deep fear that if I fell, then? Despite my fear, I stood on the wall. When I opened my eyes the world of dreams disappeared and the dream of the past one hundred years started. Yes, the worldly dream started. It welcomed me in all its glory and splendour.
Occurring during my closed eyes the mental dream:
Running in my open eyes, the mind’s worldly dream. Then, moistened in the experience of the hissing feelings and perceptions, my existence became stable in deep calm and sober silence and it seemed as though whatever was motionless and still in this visible as well as invisible world. That it is I:
Who am in motion despite apparent stillness
Who, despite being incomplete, is complete
Who remains calm and quiet in the midst of noise or hubbub
If one takes one’s balanced stand in this experience, what name should be given to such a one?
Just as today’s’ fresh morn has spread a new aroma in my feelings and perceptions, likewise it has made me perceive the unique layer of ‘Bhakti’ (devotion) and faith. It is a most pleasant and progressive journey that asks questions. Then what answer can we give to lend grace and charm to life? ‘Bhakti’—this word that circulates in my breaths is the word that has ever held me in its awareness and melted me.
I have ever been keenly aware of the presence of several read as well as heard words; and I never thought of reaching that stage, for the besieging consciousness of my incapacity and inability ever pricked me like a thorn.
Words like ‘saints’, ‘seers’, ‘sages’, ‘devotees’, ‘timeless’, ‘formless’, ‘attributeless’, ‘virtuous’, etc.—and their elevation catches me in the hot grip of nothingness. The shriek echoing in the bones, helplessness scorched in sobbing breaths—wants to burst like an ebb and flow to singe itself in the dreadful heat of the thirsty being.
The idea of the grandeur of such words I cannot have, despite exploration. The words which delimit our life, words that do not allow life a moment’s respite, words that take existence in their grasp and cause it cancer—are no longer traceable today.
If one can attain to divinity with Bhakti or devotion, then where is my ‘bhakti’?
If someone is called a seer or sage, by virtue of his holy recitation and deeds austere, then where is my recitation and austerity?
Neither ‘bhakti’ nor prayer and Austerity (asceticism)
Then what is the nature of these feelings and perceptions which enrich our existence and make our life extremely beautiful?
Today, my feet move about, but not I.
Today, my hands rise, but not I.
What name should I assign to such a state of awareness? For—because of cataracts of relaxation flowing in my smouldering existence, these words lost their grandeur when I lost my ‘I’ness’ or ‘ego’.
For if I descend into the lap of the past moments of this flux of life, I realize that if the painful suffocation, suffocating despair, stinging, venomous helplessness, the tormented state of thirsty feelings, days and nights passing in fear, and the whole life consumed by worry— all that was life. Then today, when all that has vanished, when the caravan of tormenting moments is not only in peace but even at play in the colourful design, what name should I give to this flow?
Today, the freshness of this new morning has made me realize that this is the stage where the heat of big and profound words has subsided. It seems that these words are a mere activity or process, which lending an apparel to the feelings and perceptions of our unique moments, makes them proceed in the world—and which takes in its fold the basic elements of truth, beauty, and goodness— what name should I assign to it?
It is an awareness which has no name.
It is that manifestation which has no being.
It is that sensibility which is next to nothing.
Because even in this nothing there is everything, which has all names and all stages.
These moments of today, which provide the zest of a tranquil life, are beyond the approach of words. It is a movement of existence which lies at peace in this ‘everlasting’ ‘is’ness’. It is a wordless walk, it needs no name but all other names depend on it. It is only an uncommon stay of experience which is only a presence. What name can I propose for it? Nothing. Therefore, let it remain what it is.
Then how could I become a Hindu, a Sikh or a Christian, while religion is the mark of distinction of person and not merely his words?
Then how could I tolerate to be called a Indian, american or a Canadian, while all are one?
Of course, a slight wave did arise and it became in the state of silence, a dedication, a devotion, an enthusiasm, a daring and firmness and it began to demand relief from every bondage.
— I got the understanding but learnt no modes of worship or penances, but life itself became synonymous with prayer and worship and veritable house of prayer.
— I got the knowledge but did not learn how to do prayer and worship. When my feelings became prayer and worship and my world became a temple I never knew.
— I got the knowledge but did not practise Yoga or enter its stages, when my existence took ‘Sunyas’ (the path of renunciation) I never knew, I can’t say when my feelings practised Yoga and when my sense of ‘I-ness’ took its seat, when my breaths became my meditation and I during my life time performed my final rites and became a denizen of this world, denizen I never knew.
My life did its Ph.D of religion from the university of the universe. Nature became my guide and understanding became my direction, which wiped out all ignorance and entrusted to me that degree which lets us enter real life and with it my lost balance got restored.
Thus, my life is flowing on and I am watching that, “When life becomes our guide, we enjoy the process of living; when we get freedom from our own feelings, we get a perfect existence.”
“` Who am I? This is that key which opens up the gate of creation. I, Shaheer born in Sikhism, goes to the temple but dreams about Krishna, searches for religion but finds nature, searches for guru but finds science, searches for Monk but finds a sound…
I will enjoy the travels of my free spirit and the amazing journeys within my Feelings. I will wake up fresh, clear and ready to journey through the seconds of my life in my well rested physical body!!!
It always amazes me how I am all one Mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually when I awaken! Wow! What a beautiful Journey and its Beauty!!!
Page # 12
When in life we see our characteristics encountering some religion, topic or object then we will understands the moments Moses felt.
We will be unique scientist when some new idea or invention takes birth within us.
Our feelings are like flowers, our thoughts are birds, and we fly and breathe in nature. Our breaths are interconnected. Life is a book; it’s a teacher and topic, which share same understanding, truth and destination. It is bounded by same law.
All these endless topics are expansion of one single topic. This endless is not endless. These are characteristics of endless whose conclusion is one. Call it Khuda, Bhagwaan, Waheguru, God, Allah, Rabb, who travels with “I”, within its infinity, lights one.
May God bestow with the blessings of this ideology and thanks to time which gave birth to this foresight.
>>>— LOVE YOU ALL—<<<
Page # 11
It’s a relation where we attach ourselves with nature. Silence has another form also which we call submission. Silence is the characteristic of “I” and submission is the action of silence. When person attains silence, submission itself comes. Silence’s characteristic and submission is knowledge.
What is characteristic?
It is the positive energy of “I” or we can say it is the nature of “I”.
What is knowledge?
It is the understanding of nature of the object.
How can we recognize understanding?
We will be above that topic of life which we have understood. For example 2+2 is thought in first grade. When we know it we are promoted to second standard. To be above means that when the characteristic of the object come to our life in the form of knowledge and if we have the capability to utilize it then it means that we have gained maturity. If not then it means that we have knowledge of that object but not understanding. The knowledge of this understanding will bring happiness, peace, independence and love.
Understanding is like a fuel whose output is peace, happiness and independence. Understanding makes life easier and lighter. All these characteristics and knowledge are nature of our “I”. To understand the nature of “I” we can use another point.
Today we will bring all religions in the court of our life. Here our “I” is judge, our understanding is our advocate and culprit is our thought process. Feelings will be employee and jury consists of all religions. Our characteristics will be our witness.
What is oneness?
The Taste of love.
Page # 10
No. Storm comes into calm water. Life should move ahead with time.
What is time?
It is the shadow of “I”.
Both time and “I” are one and the same thing. Time seems as object but time is neither an object nor subject. It is just the shadow of “I” which is different. It is natural way of feeling “I”.
The way every substance of life undertakes its journey, weather its matter or not; weather its thought or feeling, noise or silence, whatever it may be, it is traveling. Both our likes and dislikes travel. Our likes also have their own level and dimensions. Everything has its own level, dimension and environment. Everything speaks and has habit which we may call rule or discipline. Everything has its own features which we may call its nature or law.
The way “I” is one, religion is one, God is one, similarly universal teacher is also one. It is nature which we see through our open eyes. This teacher is not word but understanding of that word.
Teaching means knowledge, way of doing, a secret, its path in other words, meditation and awareness. Which religion denies this? This is the conclusion of every path and every religion. How can we adopt this natural teacher? We can adopt it through a simple natural process whose first step is meditation and last is silence. When we reach the stage of silence then we are in the adobe of this teacher. Means that the destination is one and same for all weather people are walking on the path of Hinduism, Islam, Jewish or Christianity. Person has to come to the adobe of this master to become Einstein or Moses.
What is nature?
It is very deep form of our life.
What is silence?
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